How to talk to my child who is in puberty about sex

Ideally, parents should have talked to their children about sex before they enter adolescence, but for many parents, it is inconvenient to talk to their children about sex.

What to say? Practical subjects about sex, such as how this happens, what are the possible dangers and what the emotional effects, if they do without being ready, simply because everybody else does it.

How is this task done? Here are some guidelines that our teenagers have given us when asked about how they would like their parents to approach this issue:

-Touch the subject indirectly. It is better to find an occasion like a photo, or a scene on television.

-Do not look surprised, embarrassed or dissatisfied. Listen carefully to your children.

-Do not make the conversation look very serious, nor joking. Speak without preaching and moralising. Keep the style of a light chat.

-Do not bombard the child with all the information at once. Give little information at different times and with different and appropriate occasions.

– Do not talk about your own sexual life. Your children feel embarrassed and uncomfortable and usually are not keen on sharing such information with their parents.

-Emphasize that it is not logical to say to themselves “since they all do it, I have to do it too”. It is important to be physically and emotionally mature before proceeding to the first sexual intercourse. But it is equally important to assure them that regardless of what you think, it is them that will decide when and with whom they will do it. Make them understand that you desire that their first intercourse will be a positive, safe and enjoyable experience.